mtvcdm: LRRBot, be a fortune cookie for today. How's this game going to go?
mtvcdm: !quote
LRRbot: Quote #7351: "I like that! No I don't!" —Beej [2020-11-16]
SaxPython: perfect
mtvcdm: Definitely an evocative fortune I'll give it that
RockPusher: !quote ian
LRRbot: Quote #1099: "I'm covered in corn starch, so technically, I am a non-Newtonian fluid." —Ian [2015-11-14]
Juliamon: It's an appropriate fortune for a game designed to be exhausting
DeM0nFiRe:
Earthenone:
jessieimproved:
Juliamon: Info's wrong
before_damage: Beej!
Juliamon: Prepare for a wave of disappointed people
toturi91: So excited
before_damage: Why would I be disappointed for Beej?
Juliamon: Because it's Rhythm Cafe, not Beej
mtvcdm: Also remember to... post the stream on social media, a phrase I'm going to use to train myself to stop saying 'remember to tweet'
before_damage: Oh, rythm cafe
Reecer6: okay, they SAY he won't return, but
before_damage: I wish y’all luck with Mozart. From the highlight reel that game looks goofy.
PhorrestGaze subscribed at Tier 1. They've subscribed for 80 months!
LRRbot:
Thanks for subscribing, PhorrestGaze! (Today's storm count: 4)
Juliamon: Mozart's over
mtvcdm: Frederic might have to fight him someday
RockPusher: Mozart will return…
Earthenone:
i wonder if ian is back from his walk 
BrowneePoints: I do have to laugh at Ian getting the Harpsichord tuned to C perfectly, then tuning it again and it snapping
Juliamon: Mozart will (not) return
iarethel0ser: Mozart will be watching. Always.
BrowneePoints: imagine the sick shit Mozart would do with Today's music tech
PharaohBender27: The weird conspiracy stuff and that line makes me think that game's devs were all, "What if Mozart were like an 18th century Austrian James Bond?" and that was the genesis of that very bizarre game.
Thefluffiestguineapig: Remember that you need to find the statue that you walk past by walking past them in order to unlock something back at the other end
mtvcdm: And me, how about me. Will I ever find the one I'm looking for?
Juliamon:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/tTw3tdyZEAzehXab8 Pictured: my mom's jewelry supply drawers, and the totally innocent cat who definitely didn't figure out she could shove a paw through those gaps and pull out pieces of wire to play with
Earthenone: is it time for consecutive normal punches?
Thefluffiestguineapig: Also never forget the man who valiantly fell through the theater floor in order to do something that I forget
jessieimproved: @Juliamon sweet baby didn't do nuffin
Thefluffiestguineapig: Honestly it will be nice to see these nice people playing a game they actually enjoy rather than needing to take a break to not scream
Thefluffiestguineapig: I love that intro
Juliamon: Heather, Ian, stream info is still wrong
VersusVices: Yay, I get to catch Rhythm Cafe live!
BrowneePoints: Woah! Ian in a T-Shirt!
PharaohBender27:
? in a T-Shirt!? Dang Victoria clearly feeling that heat wave
NotCainNorAbel: Ian is in a T-Shrt!
Juliamon: Boxing in a button-down is a bad idea
VersusVices: Omae wa mo shinderu?
PharaohBender27: @Juliamon Right, good point.
BrowneePoints: Ian and Heather, make sure to drink enough W-ATATATATATATATA! WATAH!
RonaldMcDownload: Kenshiro usually motivates people to STOP moving, abruptly
adept_nekomancer: "Fitness of the North Star" was right there.
FitalShell subscribed at Tier 1. They've subscribed for 47 months, currently on a 47 month streak!
FitalShell: Ya-ha-hah!! You found me
LRRbot:
Thanks for subscribing, FitalShell! (Today's storm count: 5)
Reecer6: i think all series should make their threquel fist of the north star
FitalShell: Damn, i just missed the totk
Nuurgle: no you didn't. it was yesterday
BrowneePoints: @FitalShell that was yesterday
Juliamon: They went live with the wrong info
Earthenone: micky mouse will remember this
mtvcdm: 'Hey kids! It's your old pal Dorfy the Clown!'
BrowneePoints: speaking of which Happy Majima's Birthday everyone!
Thefluffiestguineapig: Ian is trying to get the Queen of the Night aria out of his throat
BrowneePoints: No Ian
BrowneePoints: you have W-AATATATATATATAH!
RockPusher:
Fluids!
Thefluffiestguineapig: So not for cardiac people?
BrowneePoints: You are Already Preg
Earthenone: omae wa mou Pregante
PharaohBender27:
BrowneePoints: @Earthenone god damnit I just shot pop out of my nose
PharaohBender27: Yep. Been mostly sequestering myself inside this weekend.
NotCainNorAbel: that was very matter of fact
Thefluffiestguineapig: That is certainly an illustration
mtvcdm: It's always great when a voice-over just says the name of the game at the title screen.
betweenmyself:
Didn’t realize Paul did the menu VO 
Thefluffiestguineapig: Are those bullet hole scars in his chest
VersusVices: I'm proud of chat for not making a Fitness joke thus far.
CururuGuasu: You are already stretched
adept_nekomancer: Every war is final until the next one.
mtvcdm: Oh cool, no more war after this one.
Thefluffiestguineapig: Mad Max?
KeytarCat: In 40 years it will be known ast the First Final War
NotCainNorAbel: I'd rather have died
jessieimproved: amazing
NightValien28: THAT'S NOT HOW
Thefluffiestguineapig: UUUMMM
NightValien28: what
Travilogue: Game already very good
DrLigmaPhD: Best game ever already
Desruprot:
BrowneePoints: God this really puts into perspective just HOW much JoJo was Araki writing Fist of the North Star fanfic @LoadingReadyRun
NightValien28: fffffffffucking amazing
niccus: a universe where kenshiro's not having a bad time, all things considered
NotCainNorAbel: those are big gun shot wounds
Nimiphi: you're already fit; you just haven't caught up yet.
Nuurgle: time to save the world through GAINS
MichaelSnowbird: Jane fonda tried that in the 80s
Desruprot:
Thefluffiestguineapig: That art of exercise to reclaim love (health)
RealGamerCow: You won't be able to punch through someone's head, but you'll be fit
jacqui_lantern234:
WELL WELL WELL!!!!! if it isnt a beautiful group of wonderful friends whomst i love AGGRESSIVELY!!!!! 
BrowneePoints: Sup Johnathan
BusTed:
betweenmyself: Do you even Joy Con, bro?
BrowneePoints: err Kenshathon
BrowneePoints: err Johnshiro
mtvcdm: Don't clench too tight
Juliamon: New advide just dropped
Juliamon: *advice
RealGamerCow: always a good advice
jacqui_lantern234:
grip it! thats the ticket! 
mtvcdm: Oh I already did the reclaim love (health) one, Juliamon
Juliamon: Put this one in too then
jacqui_lantern234: yes, heather
adept_nekomancer: Last week: "You'd better know how to tune a harpsichord if you want to finish this game". This week: "Here's an achievement for not dropping a thing!"
Thefluffiestguineapig: Is getting shot in the chest?????
DrLigmaPhD: Feel like this is one of those characters toxic anime bros diefy but I only see the immense homoeroticism of him
Alephred: Those holes are from his big brother bullying him.
Alephred: Drilling holes with his fingertip.
BrowneePoints:
omg the jojo Birthmark is even a reference 
Saintnex: yea he got poked REAL hard by his ex-mentor
Thefluffiestguineapig: Get one of those zorb things
BrowneePoints: I need to go back and read Fist of the North Star
Desruprot: playing a game under a dome, oh no its a Steven King referene
Thefluffiestguineapig: Where did you come from?
PharaohBender27: "No, we need more explanation!"
RealGamerCow: suddenly australian accent?
MichaelSnowbird: hahaha
betweenmyself: He’s explaining to us, but who explains to him?… She does.
Reecer6: what's the catholic way to stand
MichaelSnowbird: we hope so
NotCainNorAbel:
@Reecer6 
DrLigmaPhD: @Reecer6 On your knees
adept_nekomancer: Return your seat to a fully upright position
mtvcdm: Orthodox basically means right-side dominant. Leftside dominant is called southpaw.
NightValien28: oh my
MichaelSnowbird: hahahaha
mtvcdm: It's a boxing thng.
Earthenone: !box
LRRbot: In the box is: spiper venom
NightValien28: this is so cute, its weird
Thefluffiestguineapig: The weight distribution is really similar to the kumite training my brother did for his blackbelt stuff
Thefluffiestguineapig: Then the rest of it came in
mtvcdm: jab
DiscordianTokkan: Jaab
PharaohBender27: Jab! Jab! Jab!
niccus: now to start mixing in rhythm heaven cues
artemi7: I was honestly really intrested in this game
BrowneePoints: Yep. A straight has more power and comittment
BrowneePoints: also can be punished more than a jab
NotCainNorAbel: this is the most polite boxing coach in the history of boxing coaches
Desruprot: get the idea
Thefluffiestguineapig: My immediate thought is the number of people who will break their thumbs learning how to punch from this
Earthenone: !time
LRRbot: Current moonbase time: 4:20 PM
PharaohBender27:
DiscordianTokkan: 69
Bengineering: "what is your mother maiden name"
Thefluffiestguineapig: Capital M My capital D data
artemi7: I'm gonna assume this is canon to the Fist of the North Star storyline lol
Bengineering: "what was your elementary school name"
azninsect: memory? i didnt sign up to remember things
Earthenone: its in cm
Bengineering: "what is your social security number"
mtvcdm: 114 inches
azninsect: i weigh "enough"
mtvcdm: 10
PharaohBender27: ALLOWABLE RANGE
Nimiphi: in kg
Earthenone: no middle sliders?
Nimiphi: lololol
azninsect: i wanna be HUGE
azninsect: 200kg plz
Reecer6: 197
DiscordianTokkan: 10
WiJohn: 200 kg, I see
PharaohBender27:
NoOne_OfConsequence: 9 foot tall 80 year old...
azninsect: "this 80yo is HUGE"
adept_nekomancer: "This 200 kg 80-year old would like to lose a kilogram. Good for them!"
Nimiphi: 200kg of pure muscle on a 2.5 meter tall monster
hattingston: Spiders Rhythm Fighter
Earthenone: you can change to imperial units there
artemi7: Units
KeytarCat: We can change units
jacqui_lantern234:
@Bengineering lmao ill trust Kenshiro with it
CururuGuasu: Perfect fit for the setting
Thefluffiestguineapig: The "Usual" so are we ordering at a coffee shop?
artemi7: Wait that's not what he said lol
RockPusher:
That frood really knows where their towel is! 
Bengineering: we should get speakers at the new office
Thefluffiestguineapig: Hitchhiker's Guide advice being followed extremely closely
Bengineering: just feed that sound right back
betweenmyself: Put a protective plastic coating on the floor and covering your furniture to protect you belongings from the blood and vomit you will be emitting shortly.
DaxStrife: That'd be a good idea, considering how many times Ben throws off his headphones when he runs out during "Let's Nope."
Travilogue: We are fighting our own inertia
mtvcdm: Punch with your whole body. Get that nose in there.
jacqui_lantern234: "straight combo" man this combo and i already dont have much in common
Nuurgle: Roll your shoulders in Jimmy?
Reecer6: "straight combo" is how i refer to heterosexual marriages
artemi7: Lol Ian might actually learn something here
Alephred: Kenshiro's biceps compare favourably with his head.
Thefluffiestguineapig: The difficulty here is Ian is so tall that if I am remembering some Loading Ready Live stuff correctly he can basically touch the ceiling
mtvcdm: This is people's *jobs*
artemi7: I like he countdown times
NotCainNorAbel: this is an easy stretch when your shoulder guard can clip into your bicep
Earthenone:
its ok if ian touches the celing, they are getting a new one soon
mtvcdm: There are people who do this for a *living*
PharaohBender27:
@Thefluffiestguineapig Well let's hope there's no ceiling lamp he can knock into
PharaohBender27: DON'T BOUNCE
azninsect: not that fast anyway, in fact dont bounce
Thefluffiestguineapig: It depends actually, sometimes it's static stretching sometimes dynamic like this
mtvcdm: It's the Exploding Calf Technique, do that and you'll explode your own legs.
PharaohBender27: I've had to do that stretch for plantar fasciitis, and I was instructed NOT TO BOUNCE
adept_nekomancer: Sports Injury of the North Star
betweenmyself: Lift your couch using only the muscles in the small of your back. Be sure to wrench your muscles suddenly instead of applying slow even pressure.
jacqui_lantern234:
im more into "Gay Combo #1"
PharaohBender27:
@betweenmyself
Thefluffiestguineapig: I have had that dynamic version of that recommended (not that deep nearly) for horse stuff
mtvcdm: LRRBot, how do you work out?
mtvcdm: !advice
LRRbot: Learn to enjoy the fruits of victory!
BrowneePoints: This is some Sonic ass OST music
BrowneePoints: and I love it
adept_nekomancer: @jacqui_lantern234 The game hasn't introduced gay boxing yet; maybe it's an advanced technique.
mtvcdm: Eat more fruit, good
Thefluffiestguineapig: !bad advice
LRRbot: Get beaten by a mole.
mtvcdm: You are now aware of your core.
azninsect: Be aware of your core
putz12a: I missed it, does the game acknowledge that left-handed people exist or does it insist that everyone has to use a right-handed stance?
DiscordianTokkan: "Stay aware of your Core. Also you can know feel your own tongue"
DrLigmaPhD: Hands up by the chin, Ian!
RealGamerCow: BrowneePoints 100% Sonic
Thefluffiestguineapig: The fact he (meaning Kenshiro) is off beat is going to drive me beyond insane
Dog_of_Myth subscribed at Tier 1. They've subscribed for 49 months, currently on a 49 month streak!
Dog_of_Myth: wooo
LRRbot:
Thanks for subscribing, Dog_of_Myth! (Today's storm count: 6)
gualdhar: gonna be some real svelte looking motherfuckers when you're done
DiscordianTokkan: Boom boom boom bang (oops)
azninsect: oh, oh good its not just me who thinks ken is a bit off time
Nuurgle: don't forget to naval gaze while punching
Juliamon: Ken's on the half beats, yeah
DiscordianTokkan: Kenshiro said You Look Nice Today
LordZarano: "Always focus on your abs" would make a good !advice
Alephred: I find Kenshiro pointing at the UI a bit weird.
BrowneePoints: @RealGamerCow I can just HEAR the checkpoint marker and spring sounds overlaid on this
DaxStrife:
Lysander_salamander: nice
Thefluffiestguineapig: Embrace huh?
artemi7: Kenshiro hugged us!
RockPusher:
Stay aware of your core — if your core starts going critical, lift the screwdriver some more 
Juliamon: This game.... amazing
NightValien28: not bad
Lysander_salamander: wow great
ButButTheJesus: you did... ursa?
artemi7: I like the spirit of this game, even if it's a little off
Thefluffiestguineapig: Honestly this looks way more like rehearsal for high school musicals or tap than kumite training
BrowneePoints: @ButButTheJesus Kenshiro has the constellation on his chest
adept_nekomancer: Remember to stretch for 3 minutes before and after rhythm games.
PMAvers: You know, I'm a little surprised this game doesn't do the whole heart rate with the IR sensor on the joycon thing that Ring Fit did.
7gorobei: cool down activity is how you maintain circulation to clear out lactic acid buildup
Thefluffiestguineapig: Also really actually appropriately hydrating will reduce soreness
DaxStrife: I'm recognizing some of these stretches from Ring Fit.
Thefluffiestguineapig: @DaxStrife What? Reskinning animations for fitness games? Never
DaxStrife: Well at least they're being consistent.
SnackPak_: thanks game, good advice
PharaohBender27:
adept_nekomancer: "Congratulations! You've lost 53 years!"
jacqui_lantern234: key word: SHOULD
mtvcdm: Dress up!
SnackPak_: time for dress up!
PharaohBender27: What's the optimal "fitness age"? Because 26 seems pretty dang good
DaxStrife: Now I'm picturing him in the Hi-Fi Rush "Left Shark" costume.
mtvcdm: (But yeah, orthodox is rightside dominant, southpaw is leftside dominant)
Thefluffiestguineapig: WHAT
niccus: KILL A MAN
mtvcdm: !clip
LRRbot:
If you see something funny or particularly noteworthy, make a Clip of it! Your clip could appear in a fortnightly video or be seen at https://www.twitch.tv/loadingreadyrun/clips (Please give your clips descriptive names if you want them to be seen!)
Dog_of_Myth:
DaxStrife: To save your progress, PUNCH THIS MAN.
artemi7: WHAT WAS THAT
NightValien28: killing a man can burn a lot of calories
adept_nekomancer: I don't know if we have enough victims for daily stamps
mtvcdm: You hit his pressure points
Alephred: Kenshiro often killed thugs by applying his thumbs to mystical chi points, thus making them explode.
mtvcdm: I mean I don't know what I expected from Fist of the North Star.
7gorobei: how many stamps until the free smoothie?
artemi7: @Alephred I didn't realize he did that as part of his daily workout though lol
Thefluffiestguineapig: You have to pay for more instructors by earning points from previous ones?
Thefluffiestguineapig: That is bonkers
Boopity:
Oh my god I was not aware they were doing this today, what a pleasant surprise to see in my twitch bar
GDwarble: That's a powerful name
SnackPak_: so close
Juliamon: TOUGH BOY TOUGH BOY TOUGH BOY
matthaus_c: music? in the rhythm café? it's more likely than you think
Boopity: After Mozart, we deserve some music
Thefluffiestguineapig: You mean your goal isn't to unlock the highest level harpsichord tuning?
PharaohBender27:
Here for music? I thought you were here to get STRONK 
GDwarble: Oh, right, Jagi is the one with the ridiculous helmet
NotCainNorAbel: they get a metal bat?
Thefluffiestguineapig: I can't tell if that is eyebrows or makeup
artemi7: Yyes
Murderface9797 subscribed at Tier 1. They've subscribed for 56 months!
LRRbot:
Thanks for subscribing, Murderface9797! (Today's storm count: 7)
NightValien28: kill kill kill
SaxPython:
mtvcdm: Yeah we're just in this mode now.
Boopity: This rules
Bugberry: to come
quatoria: wait do you get to do the Hokuto Shichi Sei?
jessieimproved: the powerful enemies.........to come
SpoonfullOfSugar: is it just me, or does this sound like text to voice?
Buxx345: this stilted voice acting is LIFE
LidofLoathing: why is all the dialogue so stilted?
BrowneePoints: The Wing Chun yells are *chef's kiss*
ScurvyMitch:
Observing is party of the battle 
GDwarble: "No match for the powerful enemies...to come." The audio files are synced to the subtitles, not vice-versa, that's wild.
artemi7: This voice acting is AMAZING
DaxStrife: Are the narrators just text-to-speech generators, or did the vocal director just accept this as-is?
Boopity:
Yeah the voice acting is... something, but I love it
Thefluffiestguineapig: The weird hand chops
adept_nekomancer: Gotta love a game that confrontationally asks you to confirm your inputs
PharaohBender27:
Juliamon: The voice acting sounds deliberate to me
TheMerricat: So you might have missed that tool tip but the camera icon doesn't indicate that the song comes with a video it indicates that you're allowed to record yourself.
Boopity: It must be deliberate, bad voice acting doesn't quite sound like this
PharaohBender27:
@TheMerricat But they're already recording themselves
GDwarble: @Boopity I think it's probably accidental, probably down more to lack of direction and bad backend tech
GetColor:
When do the jumping roundhouse kicks come into play?
mtvcdm: I think this is voice acting meant more for lightly-paced workouts, which have a certain cadence to them, than like a proper rhythm game.
CururuGuasu: The disembodied heads are kind of demanding
ScurvyMitch:
@GDwarble its either that or 'you are already dead'
quatoria: TAWABA!
PharaohBender27: @CururuGuasu IKR
BrowneePoints: ABESHI
quatoria: this sounds like the voice acting in a Gundam Musou game
quatoria: calm, dispassionate, disinterested
artemi7: I appreciate that they do the weird white blood splatter here
mtvcdm: We're very much not using this game in the manner the devs intended.
Boopity:
@mtvcdm I don't see how this could possibly not be the intended use case
ScurvyMitch:
@CururuGuasu It's when the AI doesn't shut up doing gameplay, or when the tutorials overflow the screen
ScurvyMitch:
@quatoria I was actually flashing back to XDefiant by Ubisoft. I played the beta, and the dialogue in that game is...about the same
BrowneePoints: this song is a bop though
DaxStrife: Defeated 22+ out of 19... you did so well in this battle you killed people who weren't even there.
Thefluffiestguineapig: No southpaw is someone lefthanded
Earthenone: the first 19 were the combatants, now we are into the onlookers
Thefluffiestguineapig: So pitching left handed is called Southpaw, and Southpaw boxers often have an actual advantage because it is more difficult to counter
Boopity:
Never rest your fist, it's bad for recovery
ScurvyMitch:
@Earthenone the onlookers, the shopkeepers, the newspaper delivery man, the local town crier, the loiterers, etc.
VersusVices: Honestly, this is making me want to pick this up, if it gets me off my butt.
mtvcdm: Victory is decided but keep fighting
artemi7: "Ken, they're literally all already dead"
Boopity: They had to
mtvcdm: Got there!
Thefluffiestguineapig: It is actually a huge advantage in a lot of fighting if you can swap leading left and right
adept_nekomancer: "They're already dead, but you can keep hitting them"
quatoria: You. Are. Already........ dead."
DaxStrife: "You are already dead" is not what I want to hear after a workout.
Thefluffiestguineapig: You've been dead.......for 30 years
Boopity: WHAT
KeytarCat: I dunno about you...
RockPusher: Benjamin Button Fitness
betweenmyself: You are already swole. NANI!?!
Thefluffiestguineapig: Those weird pauses. And the way they have set the breaks in dialogue is just..........wow
Raincoast_Bear: Today on Rhythm Cafe - Fistings!
CururuGuasu: Fist of the Benjamin Button
KeytarCat: 98% straight
artemi7: Heather confirmed only 98% straight
Bugberry: tongues 2 lewd
Nuurgle: honestly, more tongues need to be edited out of thing
Thefluffiestguineapig: Ian "Edited the Tongues Out" Horner
Boopity: Thanks Kenshiro
GDwarble: Adding a tongue means a more complicated rigging which they probably didn't have the budget for
TheMerricat: @gdwarble and if they are localizing it for the American audiences we might be looking at another jelly donut issue.
artemi7: The tongue was going to go right through the sword anyway, so may as well not edit it
Alephred: Surely RingFit had a licking blade animation they could have repurposed.
GDwarble:
@TheMerricat I doubt it, anyone who's playing a FotNS boxing game knows what they're in for
mtvcdm: Hits, hits, hits!
BrowneePoints: okay the 80s Ratt/Van Halen sound alike is perfect
Thefluffiestguineapig: Do you have electrified fists?
ScurvyMitch:
@KeytarCat there is no 100% in life, so Alfred Kinsey is pleased by this number
Boopity: These voice clips are 10/10
BrowneePoints: okay everyone can just HEAR David Lee Roth singing over this right?
artemi7: Except for some of the weird stretching advice, this game honestly looks really great
Thefluffiestguineapig: Because otherwise punching someone till they have a seizure when you have extensive martial arts training will get you charged with assault with a deadly weapon
Thefluffiestguineapig: Because legally you are the deadly weapon
CururuGuasu: The 80s power ballad is strong with this one
BrowneePoints: right? it's like PERFECTLY Van Halen or even Journey
mtvcdm: Vanquish more!
GDwarble: @Thefluffiestguineapig You're hitting pressure points that cause enemies to die. In extreme causes they explode first. I assume the electricity represents paralysis from that.
Boopity: I like how the voice quips from the enemies are also synced to the music
GDwarble:
@Thefluffiestguineapig It's OK, it's the post-apocalypse and they're ontologically evil bandits
Boopity: Water!
mtvcdm: WATEERRRRRRr
adept_nekomancer: All these guys must have had milk in their pockets and it sprays out when you knock them down.
artemi7: It's an old thing about blood, they couldn't show it so the show used white sprays instead
mtvcdm: Is that creamy foam stuff meant to be an explosion?
TheMerricat: I think all of those guys with bats were supposed to have blades....
Boopity: Oooh
ScurvyMitch:
Somebody get that clip of 'WAATEERRR' to them as a separate file so anytime someone redeems 'hydrate' on twitch, it plays
BrowneePoints: WATAH!* @ScurvyMitch
BrowneePoints: it's VERY wing chun
KeytarCat: I want to see how they explain hooks
BrowneePoints: and ties into one of my fave dumb jokes. What was Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WATAH!
ScurvyMitch:
@BrowneePoints well I meant the 'WATER!' comment, but that would work too as a joke
GDwarble: @mtvcdm Spit, sweat, or possibly lactic acid, hard to tell
BrowneePoints: supposed to be blood
BrowneePoints: obviously censored
adept_nekomancer: Maybe they're all androids and have white blood.
mtvcdm: It's clear to me that a LOT of this voice lines were meant to be of a very exact length of time in duration, and they're speaking to that pace instead of to the line that's been written.
artemi7: Honestly androids wouldn't even be the weirdest part of the this setting
BrowneePoints: Body Weight Exercises. More effective than you think
PharaohBender27: I mean, you HAVE been exercising
KeytarCat: @mtvcdm I don't envy that localization gig
Boopity: Yo I think this game rules
artemi7: We got older again
LordZarano: Remember to stretch!
BrowneePoints: Localizing is a difficult job on a good day
Lysander_salamander: yay
mtvcdm: Waterrrrr!
BrowneePoints: Swap your legs. Stretch your Fluids
artemi7: It looks like this game is doing a good job of being an actual workout
BrowneePoints: Body Weight Exercises are VERY effective
TheMerricat: Yeah I just popped up a Japanese play through of one of the bosses and the voice lines are definitely far smoother.
PharaohBender27: @artemi7 Yeah, just too bad it was getting pretty invasive about personal info at the start there
PharaohBender27:
Though on the other hand, they probably take streaming into consideration when making this game
Boopity: @PharaohBender27 I came in later, what was did it ask about?
artemi7: I assume it's to better calculate what calorie level burn it's giving out?
artemi7: Not that it knows if you just make yourself 80 years old or whatever lol
PharaohBender27: @Boopity I was like, "What is your age, height, and weight?" Ian and Heather made us a 79 year old, 250cm tall, 200kg person
Boopity: @Boopity Oooh. I might be missing the point here, but that seems like a sensible thing to ask for a "workout" game
Nuurgle: that's pretty standard for any fitness based game
Juliamon: ^^^excellent bundle
BrowneePoints: kinda? The formulae things like this used for that are based on some...biased science
Thefluffiestguineapig: @Boopity Wait, wasn't it 199kg person?
PharaohBender27:
@Thefluffiestguineapig No, 199kg is our GOAL
Thefluffiestguineapig: @PharaohBender27 Oh, I misunderstood! That is hilarious
LordZarano: So if you wanna get some rhythm games and support loadingreadyrun and/or charity, bundle
Thefluffiestguineapig: Also this game is way more generous than I remember WiiFit being to me. I was literally 17 and could not get my "fitness age" or whatever it was called below 24
Manae: Even taking turns, a two-hour exercise session is no joke
Thefluffiestguineapig: @Manae For real, especially with this much cardio
artemi7: This seems like more cardio then most people likely get in a day.
KeytarCat: Sniffin the spike bat
Boopity: Ichiban Kasuga he is not
Thefluffiestguineapig: Also licking that spike bat like its a sword seems ......ba
Thefluffiestguineapig: bad
EdibleDragon: I love the relieved children pop-ins
mtvcdm: I said at the end of Hi-Fi Rush that the streamer mode songs didn't just sound like real songs with the serial numbers filed off. The serial numbers aren't even filed off of this one.
Boopity:
adept_nekomancer: "Punch others before they punch you"
Boopity: Wait, what is that line actually supposed to mean?
artemi7: Did Ian mention at the start of the stream how familiar they are with the series as a manga/anime?
mtvcdm: I notice they're only swinging their weapons when you're not in front of them.
artemi7: Or are they completely unknown to Fist of the North Star here?
Juliamon: They have a passing knowledge
Thefluffiestguineapig: @artemi7 I think there were some references but I don't know the series so they were lost on me
Kelderan: Oof. These rounds are really long
Boopity: Sir, stop yelling "No distractions!" at me
adept_nekomancer: Killed 31 out of 19 available people!
Nimiphi: I love his near dead-pan delivery
Desruprot: good ol 70 year olds with the fitness age of 23
adept_nekomancer: If this world is ruled by fitness, I can only assume the economy is ruled by fitness as well.
mtvcdm: 32 is the mark now.
mtvcdm: But the combos are way shorter.
bytecaster: Is there only one kind of guy in the post apocalypse?
Boopity:
Excuse you, they have like three distinguishing hair colors
Thefluffiestguineapig: @bytecaster According to Mad Max there are two: these guys and blind men on top of a truck made of amps with a guitar shooting fire
LordZarano: @bytecaster You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like
bytecaster: Do the hair colors work like star trek uniforms to indicate their role in the gang?
Thefluffiestguineapig: And of course Furiosa could hand all of these people their own hair with so much hair gel in it they would die of constipation
PharaohBender27:
mtvcdm: Victory is decided, but keep fighting.
enolan: do you have to do the idle animation where you bounce back and forth or is that just ian
Anubis169: AAAAATATATATATATA WACHAA!!!
Anubis169: Omae wa mou... shin de iru!
Anubis169:
Anubis169:
Boopity: @enolan There's that feet indicator on screen, so I assume it's an actual thing?
They_Are_Alyx: In actual boxing you want to Always Be Moving
Thefluffiestguineapig: @enolan They had it as part of the tutorial
Nimiphi: do you feel like its a good workout?
Thefluffiestguineapig: Also to note while Heather is watching chat: Southpaw just means left handed
Boopity:
Yeah, I've been trying to follow the feet indicator and got lost so many times
Anubis169:
i wanna try this game 
Boopity: @Anubis169 It sure is something
Thefluffiestguineapig: I mean Ian is joking but really actually that is a huge part of strategy in certain martial arts combat sports
Anubis169: they're always going to trade it for other stuff later when the company gets bought out too
Boopity:
BrowneePoints: Yea, BMI can be a good statistic, but HOW they use it is uh....problematic
Thefluffiestguineapig: It is calibrated based on white, 20 something active college men. And only them
Anubis169: Ian, Heather, the BMI is based off one sentence in a provisional medical report from 1850
Boopity:
Rival battle
Anubis169: it's been around that long
Driosenth: BMI is based on height squared instead of cubed, which would be more accurate due to mass=densityXvolume
Thefluffiestguineapig: That is why if you are a woman with high muscle mass your doctor will tell you to disregard that info
Boopity: Oh this guitar is doing it for me
mtvcdm: BEHOLD! My favorite word to just scream.
Boopity: Parry this you filthy casual!
adept_nekomancer: Punch defensively!
RockPusher:
BMI doesn't account for how good your marbling is and whether you are prime, premium, or other quality muscle
KeytarCat: mawp
artemi7: The only language they understand is an aggressive defense
Boopity:
The gaps to time it to the music is 👌
mtvcdm: This game, like all other popular games of the day, is ultimately all about hands.
SaxPython:
LordZarano: To measure your *actual* muscle/fat ratio though, you need a special scale that can weigh you while completely submerging you in water. Which is tricky, and large, and expensive
Boopity: I assume Spirit is like a concept in the FotNS world lore?
azninsect: heather knows how to fites
SaxPython:
adept_nekomancer: Mission: Regicide!
Boopity:
Oooh panels
Thefluffiestguineapig: Because they are unbroken
Bugberry: I love that Southern Cross is referenced in both Inferno Cop and technically Little Witch Academia
Thefluffiestguineapig: At the end of this battle it will be horrible compound fractured legs
KeytarCat: punch to advance is advice
azninsect: "diiiiiiiiie"
Boopity: Bakana!
artemi7: This is the guy who gave us our 7 star scars
DaxStrife: *Gets punched in face repeatedly* "What a lovely day!"
mtvcdm: Empty your mind!
NotCainNorAbel: nice to have some travel without an layover
SaxPython: we cleared Shin's health bar more than a minute ago. I thought we may have a second phase
Boopity: "You're no match for me." Strong words for someone who's being kept alive by the timer
KeytarCat: Shin's def out of health, right?
adept_nekomancer: @SaxPython It would appear that... he is already dead.
Boopity: @adept_nekomancer Ayyyyy
mtvcdm: You are already dead, and we're not even halfway through the battle.
SaxPython: 1000 = approx 8
goosevonkaiser: you're not my real rabbi!
Boopity: This song is a bop
mtvcdm: We've almost perfected our final technique.
artemi7: I'm not really sure the difference between this and a normal fight, mechanically speaking.
Boopity: It's really just punching, but different number go up
Boopity: Or down, rather
BrowneePoints: in the anime, these two had a rivalry and loved the same woman
ChaoticObserver: No tricks, I ain't switching!
mtvcdm: We have achieved your ultimate doom.
SaxPython: Time for Eastern Othodox pre-Schism
SquareDotCube: So when do we win and jab him in all the pressure points and make him explode?
mtvcdm: Shin hasn't even scratched our ankles.
artemi7: Why didn't they make a Punch Out Fitness Boxing game? That seems like an easy Nintendo Wii Fit tie in
mtvcdm: Oh, hey, he hit us. Good for him.
goosevonkaiser: tenacity comes from the only ten i city
Boopity: I love how they shit-talk you after missing one (1) prompt.
DaxStrife: [Little kid yelling in your ear] "CONCENTRATE!"
adept_nekomancer: This is a very JRPG take on a fistfight. Take turns throwing a series of punches on one another.
Boopity: AMAZING
artemi7: This is RAD
mtvcdm: !clip
LRRbot:
If you see something funny or particularly noteworthy, make a Clip of it! Your clip could appear in a fortnightly video or be seen at https://www.twitch.tv/loadingreadyrun/clips (Please give your clips descriptive names if you want them to be seen!)
azninsect: oh my god
azninsect: YES
AmewTheFox: welcome to the bitrate destruction dimension
Boopity: This is all I've ever wanted from video games
SaxPython: @artemi7 i did a quick google. Apparently they made a Punch-Out for the Wii (2009)
ButButTheJesus: wwwwatatatatatata
artemi7: That was worth a 10 minute workout
NightValien28: I wanted him to explode
SK__Ren: Just joined. The rendering makes me think of Time Crisis or House of the Dead
BrowneePoints: lol! you took him out with Burning Cross just like in the anime!
SquareDotCube: Southern Crossed to death
SaxPython: @SK__Ren great eye. 100%
Boopity: Daaamn
artemi7: @artemi7 Yeah, I mean why not make a spin off that's more fitness focused then game boxing focused
goosevonkaiser: kenshiro: an unexpected virtual pet
Boopity:
If this were a gacha game, you would have to go into the menu every time and click Get All
SquareDotCube: Shin's shins: broken
Boopity: YES
azninsect: perfect
Boopity: A true rhythm game now. We have outfits
artemi7: Now THAT is a shirt!
Thefluffiestguineapig: Does the tanktop have veins?
artemi7: Wait that's just body paint
Boopity: @Thefluffiestguineapig Doesn't yours?
NightValien28: artemi7 its easier to just body paint kenshiro that way it doesn't rip every time he flexes
colourspike subscribed with Prime. They've subscribed for 33 months!
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gualdhar: Ian looked like he was doing something wholely inappropriate for chat
Boopity: You know, now I kinda want a Yakuza game in the style of this.
Lysander_salamander: wow that's a great workout outfit
Boopity: "Drive up from the bottom." sounds like !badadvice
Lysander_salamander: Was that an unlockable reward?
NightValien28: Boopity kiryu fitness would be awesome
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Thefluffiestguineapig: Totally unrelated one of my cats just hopped in a drawer I was leaving open while I folded laundry and has decided it is perfect for a fortress
gualdhar: @Boopity or !sexyadvice
artemi7: I like how they kept the ratio of how big Kenshiro's hands are to his face
Lysander_salamander: I think Majima would be more likely to be a fitness coach
mtvcdm: always focus on your abs. never, ever, stop focusing on your abs.
ButButTheJesus: @Thefluffiestguineapig do they fits?
Boopity: @NightValien28 Imagine Majima instructor with the same tenacity as his karaoke interjections
mtvcdm: You're focusing on something other than your abs, Ian, stop it.
NightValien28: Boopity ooh that would be beautiful GET TO THE TOP
Thefluffiestguineapig: @ButButTheJesus Now that she has pulled some of my clothes out, yes!
SK__Ren: I might have to get this
Boopity: OOoh that PIANO
Nimiphi: this looks pretty fun
SaxPython: @Boopity that piano can get it
ButButTheJesus: @Thefluffiestguineapig they fits then they sits
LordZarano: ALWAYS focus on your abs
artemi7: Ohh there's a demo, nice
Lysander_salamander:
adept_nekomancer: His favorite roborosewater spell is Abwatch.
Thefluffiestguineapig: Ian you may want to actually look up some arm stretches so you are not a t rex tomorrow
NightValien28: kenshiro WILL change you
MechaKuuga: If Kenshiro was my spotter, would he help me if I was struggling or just say "omae wa mou shindeiru"
Nimiphi: hold joycon soft like hamburger
Juliamon: MechaKuuga Depends on whether you'r a good guy or bad guy
Juliamon: wow I really cannot type tonight
artemi7: If I recall, Kenshiro was pretty encouraging as long as you're not trying to shortcut or cheat yourself to victory
Bugberry: now we're in a spooky canyon?
azninsect: "kick their butts" no we cant use our legs in this game
NotCainNorAbel: leading with the upper cut, that's a interesting choice
lackingsanity: Tawaba!
mitomanox:
this is enjoyable in so many ways I can't even articulate myself enough to explain
Boopity: It's such a great vibe
SaxPython: "Domination Complete" is more powerful than I was ready for
Boopity:
Oh. It just occured to me that the guys yelling water are reminding you to hydrate 
SaxPython: oh I can't hear
DaxStrife: You Are Already Abs.
Boopity: @DaxStrife I WISH they said that
artemi7: @Boopity But they don't give you enough time to take a sip!
Boopity:
They don't!
mitomanox: he's been shot a couple of times...
mitomanox: or cigarette burned
ButButTheJesus: you deserve banan
Juliamon: He was aggressively poked.
Juliamon: Guns are for cowards.
LordZarano: *please* end with stretches, to reduce your aches tomorrow
Thefluffiestguineapig: @LordZarano Agreed
PharaohBender27:
100 Since a few folks have said it - don't forget cooldown stretches!
mitomanox: tawaba indeed
Thefluffiestguineapig: It just occurred to me that the reason that one exercise might be bouncing is all the animations in this game have that bounce
Thefluffiestguineapig: Lick that rusty pipe
NotCainNorAbel:
500 - Way to go Ken!
BrowneePoints: Correct. the bag stops you from overextending your joints
BrowneePoints: so there IS a benefit to having a bag
gualdhar: so Moonbase Mark VI is gonna have a punching bag?
Boopity: Yeah, your punches are supposed to... get stopped by hitting your target
Boopity: That was such a fun stream!
artemi7: @gualdhar It wouldn't survive Adam, let alone these two
Juliamon: And then you never play again
mtvcdm: And then we never do a second stream.
DaxStrife: Mood
RockPusher:
Summer too hot for getting fit — winter too burrito for getting fit 
mtvcdm: There's more of a *hook* into this one than into the original Fitness Boxing.
mtvcdm: !homestreams
LRRbot: Crew homestreams: Adam: twitch.tv/seabats | Alex: twitch.tv/alexsteacy | Ben Ulmer: twitch.tv/bengineering | Cameron: twitch.tv/unarmedoracle | Cori and Ian: twitch.tv/tiltyhouse | Heather: twitch.tv/LunarJade | James: twitch.tv/James_LRR | Jeremy White: twitch.tv/jrhwhite | Kathleen: twitch.tv/BraveNewFaves | Matt Wiggins: twitch.tv/wiggins | Nelson: twitch.tv/coachnelly | Serge: twitch.tv/sergeyager | Wheeler: twitch.tv/benjamin_wheeler
Boopity: Ian.
ButButTheJesus: ian
mtvcdm: !patreon
RockPusher:
mtvcdm: !store
mtvcdm: !youtube
mtvcdm: !discord
LRRbot:
LRR has an official Discord server! And you don't even need to be subbed or anything! You can join here: https://discord.gg/lrr
Dog_of_Myth:
Boopity: WHAT
mtvcdm: !schedule
benjamin_wheeler: ive been told its a card game
aiamethyst: it's me, we're doing value
Thefluffiestguineapig: Maybe? I have not played in many years but remember it being sometimes fun
RockPusher: To hors or not to hors
iris_of_ether: Oooh
Juliamon: I am unreasonably hyped for the Powerwash CtS
Boopity: Yay!
SaxPython:
Thefluffiestguineapig: And hydrate!
ButButTheJesus: stretch then banan
DeM0nFiRe:
o/ 
Thefluffiestguineapig: !next
LRRbot: Next scheduled stream: Is This Your Card? (Is this a card game? Tune in and let Wheeler explain why he things it is. Game: Wizard 101) at Sun 06:00 PM PDT (24s from now).
DeM0nFiRe:
hd_dabnado: the intimidate nostalgia from this music...
Thefluffiestguineapig: @hd_dabnado Yeah, that hit really hard
benjamin_wheeler: oh this isn't a new game
TheAlmightyCheddar: I definitely played this when I was younger. The music isn't enough to trigger the nostalgia though
WiJohn: So, ruppies are basically cards right?
YeetTheRich_ subscribed with Prime. They've subscribed for 29 months!
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hd_dabnado: this game is from 2008
ShaneLeeAtk: Pop pop pop
TheAlmightyCheddar: Love when twitch gives me an 8 ad break for no reason
ShaneLeeAtk: That is a good pop
Juliamon: ah, mid-2000s menu sfx
benjamin_wheeler: gotta make sure the game doesn't kick me out due to inactivity
Juliamon: I took my thc meds early just so I'd be ready for this stream
hd_dabnado: lmao
squ3e: This...is your card?
h3rsh3yb4r: a dude i work with drove 3 hours to go get a wizard 101 "funko pop" (not a real funko pop)
EricTheOrange: I vaugly remeber seeing adds for this like 5-10 years ago.
limdul37424 subscribed with Prime. They've subscribed for 7 months, currently on a 3 month streak!
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benjamin_wheeler: !patreon
hd_dabnado: woooo james' credit card!
Sibwow: oh shoot did i miss the phone bit
wargodmogis subscribed at Tier 1. They've subscribed for 54 months!
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Thefluffiestguineapig: It is "free"
RockPusher: My parents weren't using that booze anyway…
hd_dabnado: this is totally a card game
cmdrzellgaudis: Wheeler, was hoping everything was all right since your stream earlier today just cut out on my end
Simonark: Wizard 101 was a Nickelodeon sitcom from the early 2000s, right?
NotCainNorAbel: So it's a credit card game
WhirlwindAbyss: Sounds legit to me
Thefluffiestguineapig: I mean, sort of? You do collect spells to change up your available spells
CururuGuasu: Is this your (credit) card?
hd_dabnado: stellar
Juliamon: Oh dear
Juliamon: ah
niccus: oh good there it is
NotCainNorAbel: bird
thraximore: a black screen?
BrowneePoints: I suddenly remember how old this game is
SaxPython: magnificent
Juliamon: Look at these beautiful animations
hd_dabnado: this is totally a game from 2008
ghyllnox: Oh this brings me back
AttackCowboy subscribed at Tier 1. They've subscribed for 41 months!
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EricTheOrange: this game is gonna kill WoW
hd_dabnado: BIRD
Simonark: Commodore Guff is such a niche cosplay choice.
RockPusher: We found one… a new mark!
YeetTheRich_: this game has voice over?! can't be a card game
thraximore: Wizard City
SK__Ren: In a young girl's heart?
Saintnex: clearly a blue wizard
Juliamon: A concerningly large percentage of this world believes in magic
hd_dabnado: okay wheeler take your personality test
thraximore: a card wizard
SaxPython: Evoker
Thefluffiestguineapig: I was the one that had a bunch of multi target spells, with sand
MajorFrostbyte: Chicken wizard
squ3e: sup or adc?
Sibwow: that shrine today was a show off for sure
Kelderan: Wizard 101. That's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Not since I worked on Free Realms/Clone Wars Adventures RIP
niccus: ah the schmorting hat
Juliamon: Oh no this aged weirdly, didn't it
cronatos: yo, wizard 101. this is the game.
DreamyPants:
Sibwow: clearly volcano
thraximore:
Plague 
thraximore:
ghyllnox: Buddy after the several years we've had...
Cephallope: Where's lunch?
hd_dabnado:
like reading and writing at the bottom
Sibwow: why isnt memorizing pokemon facts an option
hd_dabnado: no 3am game?
thraximore: @Sibwow that's "science and math"
Kelderan: My favourite class was calling in sick and sneaking video games all day.
LordZarano: !time
LRRbot: Current moonbase time: 6:12 PM
niccus: crab
YeetTheRich_: crab
Kelderan: CRAB
aliceduckwhisper subscribed at Tier 1. They've subscribed for 3 months, currently on a 3 month streak!
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adept_nekomancer: time for crab
BlueMagnusStormCrow: crab
hd_dabnado: 🦀
Juliamon: Is a dragon not a serpent?
thraximore: 🦀
aliceduckwhisper: carb
Cephallope: The seven genders
ghyllnox: Crab!
WiJohn: They all become crabs in the end
Kelderan: @Juliamon Is a serpent not a dragon?
SaxPython: Unicorn is a horse
BrowneePoints: You HAVE to pick the bear
AttackCowboy:
thraximore: no RAT option??????
Sibwow: shark is just big soft crab
CompSciJedi: 🦀 BECOME AS CRAB 🦀
RockPusher:
mazingolfer: STREET SHARKS
EricTheOrange: crab > shark
ghyllnox: Sure
couchboyj: Doot doot doo doo
theinvisiblevoice: lava shark
Kelderan: Shark only if we chose tempest. Big sharknado energy
CompSciJedi: 🦀 KREB 🦀
ghyllnox: If you wanna
thraximore: a card shark
lightfut: Crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentation of the women
thraximore: that's the pun isn't it
BrowneePoints: Blahaj is a good pick
MajorFrostbyte: Fire Sharks?
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