Don't Google anything you hear on a Jackbox stream. Especially if Beej, Alex or Ian said it.
The stream is not currently live. Next scheduled stream: Play it Forward (After conquering It Takes Two, Paul and Heather are moving on to Split Fiction! Game: Split Fiction) at Mon 09:00 AM PDT (3:12 from now).
Please keep in mind that many of the following quotes are taken out of context, be it for comedic effect or out of necessity. Take all of them with a grain of salt and bear in mind they don't necessarily reflect their originators' views and opinions. That being said, if you find any quote to be particularly awful, please notify the moderator of your choice to have its removal evaluated.
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#5294
Oh right, I'm a filth monster.
—
Graham
[2018-08-29]
None on LRRMtG
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#5293
The ground is now covered in poison, which is on fire.
—
Dale
[2018-08-27]
None on Dice Friends
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#5292
I'm choosing to announce them in a way that makes it sound like they're on your side, because I thought that would sound more helpful.
—
Dale
[2018-08-27]
None on Dice Friends
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#5291
All aboard the not-bleeding train!
—
Kathleen
[2018-08-27]
None on Dice Friends
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#5290
16 is certainly some!
—
Dale
[2018-08-27]
None on Dice Friends
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#5289
There's a 1/100 chance that the bag sets to "dogs" for a little while.
—
Dale
[2018-08-27]
None on Dice Friends
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#5288
It's the last session! What have you got to lose?
—
Dale
[2018-08-27]
None on Dice Friends
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#5287
The punch is also poisonous, but in a different way. A fun way!
—
Paul,
as Dande
[2018-08-27]
None on Dice Friends
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#5286
People love me, or at least agree to what I'm saying so I'll stop talking at them.
—
Kathleen,
as Morra
[2018-08-20]
None on Dice Friends
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#5285
Whenever we tell Dale, something bad always happens.
—
Beej
[2018-08-20]
None on Dice Friends
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#5284
Sometimes you're clever and I give you inspiration, but then sometimes there are other times.
—
Dale
[2018-08-20]
None on Dice Friends
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#5283
You have no idea how much this hurts me, Graham. I'll take one.
—
Serge
[2018-08-24]
Magic: The Gathering on Friday Night Paper Fight
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#5282
Fortress Crab. A fortress of crabs.
—
Nelson
[2018-08-24]
Magic: The Gathering on Friday Night Paper Fight
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#5281
Serge is in white, in the sense that he's in all colours combined together.
—
Paul
[2018-08-24]
Magic: The Gathering on Friday Night Paper Fight
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#5280
We're not good adults here.
—
Kathleen
[2018-08-24]
Coming Out On Top on Now Kiss!
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#5279
I wanna make things go boom boom!
—
Paul
[2018-08-23]
Split/Second on Games of Chance
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#5278
"Blue barrels slow you down, and red barrels.." "Blow you the fuck up!"
—
Paul and James
[2018-08-23]
Split/Second on Games of Chance
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#5277
That is a Tokyo drift if I ever saw one.
—
Paul
[2018-08-23]
Split/Second on Games of Chance
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#5276
Screw you, aesthetically-ambiguous staircase!
—
Serge
[2018-08-21]
None on AFK
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#5275
I feel like every time Beej and Ian talk it's just some big inside joke.
—
Adam
[2018-08-22]
Board Games on AFK
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#5274
Oh, God! It's God!
—
Ben,
upon meeting God
[2018-08-22]
Pony Island on Let's NOPE
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#5273
I shouldn't have turned the death generator on.
—
RebelliousUno
[2018-08-21]
Minecraft on Mine O'Clock
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#5272
Remember me as I lived, full of hubris.
—
RebelliousUno
[2018-08-21]
Minecraft on Mine O'Clock
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#5271
Yes! we have cows.
—
Serge
[2018-08-21]
Minecraft on Mine O'Clock
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#5270
He can tell us how to live our best lives, and then we can ignore him.
—
Kathleen,
as Morra
[2018-08-20]
None on Dice Friends