Quotes – LRRbot

Please keep in mind that many of the following quotes are taken out of context, be it for comedic effect or out of necessity. Take all of them with a grain of salt and bear in mind they don't necessarily reflect their originators' views and opinions. That being said, if you find any quote to be particularly awful, please notify the moderator of your choice to have its removal evaluated.

#34

Our cats still staunchly refuse to get jobs.

— Graham [2015-02-27]
#33

I am no longer moist.

— Alex [2015-03-13]
#32

It's the antithesis of all that is good and right in the world: a treasure chest that bites you.

— Paul [2015-03-09]
#31

There is invisible siege weaponry, that only I can see… because I am being assisted by the soul of a door.

— Paul [2015-03-09]
#30

Retrospect is 20/20.

— Adam [2015-03-08]
#29

I kind of like the idea of a shipping container full of bootleg Botox catching fire in the port of Vancouver.

— Cameron [2015-03-05]
#28

Alright, let's just chug a fetus.

— Cameron [2015-03-05]
#27

We now have mutilated baby heads everywhere. I hope you're happy with yourself.

— Serge [2015-03-07]
#26

I'm so moist.

— Paul [2015-03-02]
#25

Egg salad sandwich is kind of a serial killer food.

— Adam [2015-03-03]
#24

We are the most professional stream on Twitch.

— Alex [2015-03-03]
#23

Oh god, I ate every bit of that man!!

— Alex [2015-03-03]
#22

I don't *open* boxes. I smash them into tiny bits.

— Graham [2015-02-27]
#21

You gotta wear a lambskin if you gonna be docking.

— Alex [2015-02-24]
#20

This is the lady that puts the plunger on my nipples.

— Alex, about Kim [2015-01-31]
#19

I frequently get rabies.

— Alex [2015-02-24]
#18

Could you not put a steering wheel up my *ss?

— Alex [2015-02-24]
#17

I bet if we gave crabs swords they'd be a lot scarier.

— Paul [2015-02-23]
#16

*James* plays Minecraft. How hard can it be?

— Adam [2015-02-17]
#15

Any game that uses the word 'decoupler'… I would never touch.

— Adam [2015-02-17]
#12

I can't control what comes out of my mouth. There's no brain thing there. The tongue is engaging separately. It's pure reptile instinct.

— Kathleen
#11

There is no amount of tips a 16-year-old girl in short shorts can't earn if she doesn't respect her body.

— Kathleen [2015-01-30]
#10

I am become Death, destroyer of sheep.

— Alex [2015-02-03]
#9

There is no shame in defeating an ignorant opponent.

— Kathleen [2015-01-30]
#8

Once, at a LAN party, I sat down on my own nutsack so hard that I almost blacked out.

— Cameron [2015-01-16]