Quotes – LRRbot

Please keep in mind that many of the following quotes are taken out of context, be it for comedic effect or out of necessity. Take all of them with a grain of salt and bear in mind they don't necessarily reflect their originators' views and opinions. That being said, if you find any quote to be particularly awful, please notify the moderator of your choice to have its removal evaluated.

#63

I need more knives; I f*cking love knives.

— Alex [2015-03-22]
#62

I just bent a piece of rebar in my anus. That's how hard I clenched.

— Adam [2015-03-22]
#61

Fear turns into erections.

— Adam [2015-03-22]
#60

I can't find your sweet butt spot.

— Alex [2015-03-22]
#59

Can you romance the elk?

— Alex [2015-03-26]
#58

We don't operate on guilt, but on cold, hard cash.

— Cameron [2015-03-25]
#57

I love being stun locked.

— Alex [2015-03-24]
#56

'Panda' is not a sexual orientation.

— Kathleen [2015-03-23]
#55

I think I'm a pretty reasonable cow.

— Graham [2015-03-23]
#54

We are such weird animals.

— Cameron [2015-02-26]
#53

I feel like Cameron's cutie mark should just be his own face looking terribly unimpressed.

— Julie [2015-02-26]
#52

The first thing you do to deal with eight inches of snow is that you only let it fall over the course of about six months. And then you just shovel it out of the way.

— Cameron [2015-02-26]
#51

When a man loves a cartoon pony very much… they share a very special kind of shame… and then he sticks it in her pooper.

— Julie and Cameron [2015-02-26]
#50

Don't be vulgar, Chat!

— Cameron [2015-02-12]
#49

I'm *tumescent*. That's how excited I am.

— Cameron [2015-02-12]
#48

I don't quite like weaponizing my ability to make conversation.

— Cameron [2015-02-12]
#47

What are words? Nobody knows what words are. Least of all me. I tried looking into words once. Didn't take.

— Graham [2015-03-20]
#46

Our long national crisis is at an over.

— Graham [2015-03-20]
#45

Our usual Chat can be reasoned with.

— Graham [2015-03-20]
#44

I'm full of alcohol.

— Graham [2015-03-20]
#43

You have to get up pretty early in the morning to have enough time to tell James how bad he is at Minecraft.

— Paul [2015-03-18]
#41

It is tree sex time out here.

— Kathleen [2015-03-13]
#40

Do you want me to, like, burp or vomit or something so I can get in on this… trifecta?

— Graham [2015-03-14]
#39

I'm gonna give away these earrings. Let me just poop on them first.

— Kathleen [2015-03-16]
#38

I don't think I've ever had a fluffy poo.

— Kathleen [2015-03-13]