Never trust someone who paraphrases Cormac McCarthy.
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Please keep in mind that many of the following quotes are taken out of context, be it for comedic effect or out of necessity. Take all of them with a grain of salt and bear in mind they don't necessarily reflect their originators' views and opinions. That being said, if you find any quote to be particularly awful, please notify the moderator of your choice to have its removal evaluated.
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#243
Hotcarlson, did you send those dick pics like I told you to?
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Adam
[2015-05-07]
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#242
If you don't have a sponge guy, you're not living life right.
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James
[2015-05-07]
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#241
Why do you want to get into some guy? I did not know it was that kind of game.
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James
[2015-05-05]
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#240
Wait, which one of these buckets do I poop in?
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Alex
[2015-05-05]
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#239
Boy, is my butt tired.
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Alex
[2015-05-05]
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#238
I'm basically a raptor.
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James
[2015-05-05]
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#237
When the opportunity arises, I do eat humans.
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James
[2015-05-05]
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#236
Why can't I have sex?
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Ian
[2015-05-05]
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#235
I would not call the White House 'handsome.'
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Cori
[2015-05-05]
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#234
I can burp on command. I'm a classy lady.
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Kathleen
[2015-05-04]
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#233
That's probably old enough to see a forest of dongs.
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Kathleen
[2015-05-04]
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#232
F*ck off, Sticky Keys!
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Alex
[2015-05-02]
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#231
I was trying to say 'butt' and '*ss' at the same time.
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Kathleen
[2015-05-04]
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#230
<BELCH>
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Graham
[2015-05-04]
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#229
All the plants outside are having sex.
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Graham
[2015-05-04]
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#228
I'm in a dark void!
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Graham
[2015-05-04]
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#227
You had a mole!
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Kathleen
[2015-05-04]
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#226
Look at the pores!
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Paul
[2015-05-04]
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#225
Bird mom? Yeah, I'd let Eileen puke in my mouth.
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Cameron
[2015-04-30]
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#224
Not gonna lie to you guys, lighting a man on fire feels awfully nice.
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Cameron
[2015-04-30]
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#223
I think the problem is that we're smarter than the internet.
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Paul
[2009-03-03]
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#222
I can't identify that cheese.
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Graham
[2015-04-30]
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#221
Usually, in my dreams, the ghosts just give me a knife.
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Cameron
[2015-04-30]
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#220
Of course it makes perfect sense! What do the ghosts give you when *you* die? They always give *me* weapons.
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Cameron
[2015-04-30]
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#219
Little known secret: I tend to freckle in the summer.
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Cameron
[2015-04-30]